Alive and Well & Living in France, now Italy!: La Merde

Saturday, November 17, 2012

La Merde

(This is an old post that I just moved around)

Sooner or later I was going to have to write about this "la merde" - it even has a feminine article before it to portray a more polite tone. I have stepped in "la merde" more times than I care to say. This stuff is everywhere!! For a country that prides itself on being one of the most beautiful, I just don't get it. And it's not like the city has ignored the situation. There are posts all over town to clean up after le chien complete with a sac à plastique to facilitate the job. (Just like at home!!) I believe picking up dog merde is truly beneath a french person - after all they come out dressed to the nines to walk their le petit chien - what pretell was anybody thinking that someone so elegantly dressed would dare pick up "la merde". They just obviously ignore it hoping it well disintegrate or something. As the author of the book, A Year in the Merde said he wore sac à plastique over his shoes for the year, I may soon follow in his footsteps or "plastic" footsteps so to speak.

So we carry on and continue to be on constant "merde"patrol as we walk the streets. As I hear my children run on ahead and yell, "Mom, merde here", I realize, "oh shit"...... I have taught them a bad word, but then "merde" does sound alot better than the English equivilent............

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Foie Gras in the Cantine

The girls and I enjoy some good albeit interesting lunches at times. It is quite different from any school lunch we are accustomed to. We always have a starter and bread of course, followed by a main dish and then cheese and bread and of course yogurt, fruit yogurt, flan, chocolate, yogurt with sugar, you name it, we have had it!!

One Friday we had foie gras for our starter!! The children actually spread it on the bread and then eat it. Even the two year olds were given this. I guess that's one way to introduce the palette to different tastes at such a young age. Did Rachel and Isabel eat it? What do you think???!!!

A La Marché

I love the markets and the girls do as well. We pull our cart up to the market, yes, we have one of those "old lady carts" and savor what vegetables and fruits are in season. We have our "favorites" - we visit the same fruit and vegetable stand every week and when they see us coming, they always try out the little bit of English they know on us. The jolly old cheese man who gives the girls endless samples of his yummy cheese, the "chicken man" who has the best tasting poulet roti I have ever had, even the women who sells children's clothing is always eager to help us find exactly what we are looking for. These vendors take pride in their wares and take the time to ask you when you will eat the fruit, ensuring they pick the best one for that day. The customer service at these markets is probably something French people take for granted and just assume it's the norm, however for us, it is a nice change of pace to know you can purchase something and it has truly come from the heart.

You Are Charging Me How Much???!!!

7,50 euros for an application of mousse!! That is what my itemized bill said after I dared to look at it upon leaving the hairdresser. I feel certain I have paid for the entire case of the stuff for a month. For every bit of extra service one needs, you pay for it. I cannot figure out if our prices in America are so inflated that we don't even know we are paying exhoribitant prices or the French are nickel and diming every foreigner they can to get back at their own government for the high taxes they must pay.

Its All Relative

The living situation in France bring a whole new meaning to the word "small". Obviously people are smaller in both size and stature here, and their defination of "personal space" is completely opposite of mine, but come on!! 140 cm for 2 people. Basically this is the size of an american twin/double. I told my husband he better stop making extra trips to the bakery or we are going to have to get an extend-a-bed to fit him!!

I am still trying to imagine how anybody over 170 pounds fits in these french tubs. If you have wide hips, forget it. I am sure the pompiers have been called on more than one occasion to yank someone out of the tub. I do like the fact the toilet area is separate from the "douche" room, however, being the claustrophobic I am, have the toilet in a space the size of a closet just doesn't go over well with me. Even when you are there for just a bit, there is no ventilation, thereby causing one to continuely keel over from the sheer odor. I am sure my whole family will be diagnosed with some form of rare cancer from all the "odeur de maladie spray" we use everytime we exit "the closet".

Nothing Seems to Work Properly

Not even the liquid soap works correctly. I was warned about things not working well and the level of service one expects from living in the states. I am confussed why everything I have purchased thus far has broken or failed to live up to its expectation. I am trying to rationalize whether one pays a high price for each item they want just so they can have the thing live on way beyond their lifetime. This way, indeed they can pass on that foot pedal trash bin onto their children and even grandchildren if they are lucky to have it endure for that long.

My children are lucky, I think..... our 50 euro trash bin complete with a foot pedal broke after a month. They'll be able to put in for the "upgraded" model and the foot pedal won't get kicked around the kitchen floor all day long.

Many of the items from France are shipped from China, (Gasp) but the route is shorter. Maybe the items going to the states have an opportunity to ferment longer at sea, thereby creating a more rugged product. By the time the product reaches America, that liquid soap can handle lots of pushes. The route from China to Europe is much shorter, leaving me to believe not enough salt air has aged the product.

Le Bisous

Instead of a hug, one greets their friends, lovers, male, female etc with one kiss on each cheek - really almost an airbrush kiss. It takes some coordination to make sure the kiss lands on the cheek quickly as before you know it the person has turned their head to have the other cheek kissed. I have to admit I like this greeting. It is a bit more personal and takes some getting used to, but it is a very sweet way to greet or say goodbye to someone. However, one has to know when it is appropriate to use "le bisous". I wait for someone to initiate it as I am not sure if or when I should even be initiating this greeting, for fear of appearing over eager. Now, not everyone is the reciprocal of "le bisous". There is sort of an initiation to being on the receiving end of a kiss. It appears that one must have made your acquaintance at least a few times before, or just a "bonjour" or handshake is given. On that note, I'd say make lots of friends and give lots of bisous!! Remember one has to kiss both cheeks, if just one is done, it could be construed as the "kiss of death"!!